Passenger Complaint Letter

This letter had me laughing out loud at 8 AM, alone in my room. Its a Virgin Air passenger (from India) complaining to the CEO about the flight food.

Here is the link- Virgin: the world's best passenger complaint letter?

and my favorite chunk of excerpt (its best if you imagine the Brit-Indian accent too)-

"I’ll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it’s Christmas morning and you’re sat their with your final present to open. It’s a big one, and you know what it is. It’s that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.

Only you open the present and it’s not in there. It’s your hamster Richard. It’s your hamster in the box and it’s not breathing. That’s how I felt when I peeled back the foil and saw this: [see image 3, above].

Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking it’s more of that Baaji custard. I admit I thought the same too, but no. It’s mustard Richard. MUSTARD. More mustard than any man could consume in a month..."

Wee man

This cracks me up.

Just not

Women are so empowered these days with all their self-help dating books to nab men. For whatever reason, these books are far less common for men. Maybe because; we don't have women figured out, don't care to buy books like that, think we already know, etc.

Anyways, I tried to find a relevant book for men and stumbled across this askmen.com article written by a woman for men to know if a woman is just not that into you. Enjoy-

She's just not that into you.

Summary:
1. She says she's not ready for a relationship.
2. You're always the one calling her and/or she doesn't return your phone calls
3. She avoids eye contact and physical proximity
4. She mentions other guys she finds attractive
5. She tries to set you up with other women
6. She doesn't laugh at your jokes
7. She is always vague about making plans
8. She regularly cancels plans with you
9. Her description of the perfect man sounds nothing like you

Tis' the season!

Its Christmas time! There is something magical about it no matter how old you get. Is it Santa? Jesus? Presents? Winter? I was thinking about why its special and three things in the last 24 hours gave me the answer. 

1) Everyone at Walmart last night was unusually friendly. Strangers walked by and smiled and said hi like 4 times! An drabby old man, a little Indian guy, a yuppy Indian guy (don't think he was gay either), and... someone else. And people were pleasant. The cashier was funny and engaging. Wall-E was on in the electronics section a group of like 4 randoms including me stopped to watch for 5+ minutes. It all made me happy! 

2) Read this article in NY Times.

Strangers may cheer you up, study says

"Your happiness depends not just on your choices and actions, but also on the choices and actions of people you don't even know who are one, two and three degrees removed from you," said Dr. Nicholas Christakis, a physician and social scientist at Harvard Medical School and an author of the study, to be published Friday in BMJ, a British journal. "There's kind of an emotional quiet riot that occurs and takes on a life of its own, that people themselves may be unaware of. Emotions have a collective existence - they are not just an individual phenomenon."

Kind of comforting/ Potentially creepy! But, fear not...

"Sadness was transmitted the same way, but not as reliably as happiness. Professor Cacioppo believes that reflects an evolutionary tendency to 'select into circumstances that allow us to stay in a good mood.'"

Thank goodness.

3) This directly answers the initial question of where the Christmas season derives its magic. Read this talk about Christmas by President Monson (might have gotten choked up). 

The Best Christmas Ever

"President David O. McKay declared: 'True happiness comes only by making others happy-the practical application of the Savior's doctrine of losing one's life to gain it. In short, the Christans spirit is the Christ spirit, that makes our hearts glow in brotherly love and friendship and prompts us to kind deeds of service.'

"'It is the spirit of the gospel of Jesus Christ, obedience to which will bring 'peace on earth,' because it means-good will toward all men.'

"Giving, not getting, brings to full bloom the Christmas spirit. Enemies are forgiven, friends remembered, and God obeyed. The spirit of Christmas illuminates the picture window of the soul, and we look out upon the world's busy life and become more in

terested in people than things. To catch the real meaning of the 'spirit of Christmas,' we need only drop the last syllable, and it becomes the 'Spirit of Christ.'"

So what is that feeling? Maybe its the combined goodwill of everyone around thinking more unselfishly than usual. Its the Spirit of Christ in greater potency. Get out and spread the cheer! Go to Wal-mart if you must.

Happy Holidays!

Busted

I've been doing a lot of long distance driving lately (mostly to Utah and back). Anyone who knows me understands how easily I fall asleep. So to stay awake on these treks, I've been juicing up on energy drinks. They are horrible for you, but averaging one a month, I am not an addict.

It would probably be better to adjust my activities around waking hours, than to adjust my waking hours around activities. We all know that too much caffeine is bad for you, but, but, but... No church authority has expressly condoned energy drinks (as far as I know)- UNTIL NOW!

So no more energy drinks for me.

CAFFEINE CONTENT OF ENERGY DRINK TO COKE:

Regular Coke - 41 mg of Caffeine

Average Energy Drink - 220 mg of Caffeine

ALMOST AN ENTIRE 6-PACK!!! no wonder it works

SPIDER BRO:

Now imagine instead of a spider web you are looking at a midterm paper. Diagram on the left is a BYU student's paper. Diagram on the right is a UVU student's paper. While the left diagram may earn an A, it took the zoobie all day to complete! UVU stud woke up at 1 AM, played Xbox, hit up the tanning bed and Gold's, went to 3 dance parties, popped a Rockstar at 2 AM and finished right diagram in a fraction of the left and still got a C-! YEAH BRO!

Urban. So urban.

My cousin Stephen and I have so many running jokes. One of them is the idea of being urban. Embodying the American urban movement and embracing the world. Traveling to Thailand. Living in the big city. Starbucks. Peacoats. American apparel. Just living the dream and being... urban. Listen to this song and enhance your urban appeal.

Poison Oak Myth-busting

After hiking in Yosemite over Thanksgiving break I woke up in the morning to an itchy rash on my face and other places. The last 4 days have been absolute hell! And I don't know if I've reached the worst of it as it keeps popping up in new spots. Anyhow, the outbreak has caused me to do some research and I learned a few things to share.

Myth: Poison Oak rash is contagious. You can give it to other people.

My mom cut my hair yesterday and wore rubber gloves so she wouldn't get it from touching me. Don't trip Mom- Rubbing the rashes won't spread poison oak to other parts of your body (or to another person). You spread the rash only if urushiol oil- the sticky, resinlike substance that causes the rash- has been left on your hands.

Myth: Don't worry about dead plants.

I'm pretty sure I just touched a stick or something because it is winter and there weren't many leafy bushes on the trail. Urushiol oil stays active on ANY surface, including dead plants, for up to 5 YEARS! 

Myth: Breaking the blisters releases urushiol oil that can spread.

I always thought this was true and if you itched it the juice from your blisters would make more and cause others to possibly get it. No. Blister fluid does not spread the rash. Only contact with the Urushiol. The rash spreads as less sensitive areas or areas less exposed to the urushiol break out later. 

As far as tips to make the itching stop or make the rash go away faster I'm still looking into it and looking for suggestions. I'm going nuts.